Tag Archives: mindset

Alaska, Cold Weather Life, Off-grid living

Here’s a few things you’ll never see back in Portland!

This is what I woke up to. I made sure to not crop out the time. Don’t worry. We’re comfortable this time around. Both the Toyo and the propane heater are working to keep the indoor temps cozy. The thermometer in my end of the RV reads 45, but it’s mounted on an exterior wall so that might skew it colder. My blankets are enough to make it comfortable. Clay dog agrees.

This is what I woke up to yesterday morning. I had to sweep it off so I could head in to work. No ice to scrape. Nothing melted because it was -15 when I went to bed and -8 when I woke up. All the snow is dust and blows off easily.

Driving into town I was able to safely cruise at highway speed. Normal, dry pavement speed limit speed is safe in these conditions. It’s almost surprising because at night my headlights reflect off the shiny layer of ice on the road surface, but if you aren’t stupid it isn’t really slick. Don’t let your wheels touch the deeper snow on the shoulder though, it’ll suck you in.

Honestly, the only problem with fresh snow is the visibility. Traffic in the right lane clears it out, but if someone passes on the left it stirs up a cloud that takes a while to settle. That cloud will drift across the median too and you can’t see what other vehicles are doing until it clears.

Traffic delay!

As much as Portland loves their dogs, I doubt this will ever show up in Portland. Actually, I would love to see this. Let me have a team and one of the carts they use for summer training. Let me go flying down the bike path. I wouldn’t need to fear the homeless campers because I’d have 8 dogs with me and all they want is to run. Nah, on the other hand I’d have to watch out for paw injuries from broken glass and needles. No need to put my imaginary dogs through that. Better to stay here where it’s cold enough that running doesn’t make them overheat, and you never have to dig ice splinters out of a paw.

So it is cold and snowy up here. That’s a given. I’m enjoying every bit of it. We’ve had a few rough patches. This morning we’re listening to the generator with suspicion because it doesn’t sound quite right. The backup generator is staged and ready to go if we need to swap it out and let the other one warm up. It’s possible that moisture is in the fuel again which means ice in the carburetor. This is why we have two of them. We have learned a lot in the last few months.

February means we’re in the second half of winter. Things start thawing out in March. We could almost start a countdown. As cold as it is right now I know this winter wasn’t as cold as it could have been and I’m thankful for that. Last year had lows in the -40s to -50s during January. I would hate to have dealt with that in an RV. I’m looking forward to building my cabin so I can have good insulation again.

I hope you are all enjoying the last of winter wherever you are. Go do something fun. Find a reason to appreciate your warm house. Your backyard might not be below zero, but winter weather has a way of making indoors feel extra cozy. Revel in it and recharge to be ready for when the world comes back to life.

Alaska, Cold Weather Life, Off-grid living

Yeah, it’s cold outside.

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So as I write this it is a brisk -8°F outside. Not cold enough for me to put a coat on if I have to go out for a few minutes, but definitely not t-shirt weather. Almost everyone I left back in the lower 48 says that they couldn’t handle it up here because of the cold and the dark. I might have adapted already.

I’ve already written about the light. Before I came up here I was a little worried about how the short days would affect me. I know that I would get a bit of the winter blues with all of the gray dreariness in Portland. But up here I don’t think I’ve had a problem. I spend all day driving, trying to keep my eyes on the road and not the sky. It isn’t about the quantity of light, it’s the quality of the light that we get, and it’s all colors all day. Sunrise morphs into sunset with hardly any plain light in between. I may have run out of adjectives to adequately describe it all. I hope I never get tired of it.

The cold is something else. I’ve been told that we are having a fairly mild winter this year. The temperature dips to -20° on an almost weekly basis, but so far we’ve only had the one spell of colder. We have figured out the basics of dealing with this amount of cold. The generator has a hut so we don’t lose power. The propane has heat tape on the pipes so we don’t lose flow to it freezing again. We have sheets of foam insulation leaning against the trailer to minimize airflow underneath. I piled snow up to block most of the extra spaces between. The little Toyo works like a charm keeping the worst of the cold at bay. Even with the drafts that are inevitable in an older RV like this one the temperature is holding steady at 57°. We have it set for 60° but this is fairly comfortable.

The Toyo is good at prewarming our boots as it heats the RV.

So much about comfort depends on perspective. I remember coming out of the -31° night there was a temperature swing up to 27° and it felt so warm, but I read someone’s social media post about how they had to cut a bike ride short because 27° was SO COLD! I laughed, but was kind enough to not respond. This week there was heavy rain and wind back in Oregon, resulting in power outages. I saw posts encouraging people to be careful and stay warm because it was 48° outside. Again, I don’t reply because when the temperature drops the Toyo might struggle to keep the indoor temps above 40°, especially in my end of the RV. I just add layers and curl up with my blankets. There are ways to deal with this and I know I am becoming more resilient.

Clay knows how to keep warm.

So what should you do to keep warm when it’s really cold outside? It pretty much comes down to a couple of basic things. Trap body heat, and stay dry. If anyone was to come visit I would tell them to pack simply. Have a good quality set of base layers. I have a smartwool shirt and leggings that I almost live in. I also have wool socks, a fresh pair for every day. Over those I add a thermal shirt and flannel lined work pants. I have a scarf and a neck gaiter to keep body heat from escaping my shirts, and over that I wear a sweatshirt. That and a good set of boots that keep the snow out is enough to keep me going through the workday. I have a coat, hat, and gloves that I add as needed, but they annoy me most of the time with their bulk.

A day’s outfit laid out, ready to wear.

If it’s really cold I have hand warmers and toe warmers to get me through. I’ve had to use them a couple of times on the drive home because my poor truck can’t seem to put out any heat. Any time I drive home colder than -10° my feet and fingers start to ache with the cold. It isn’t much fun. A hand warmer can be a lifesaver then.

My friends across the creek have a bit more experience with the really cold weather. Just yesterday, for example, I got to hear more details about troubleshooting and swapping out the Toyo that broke down in the middle of a deep cold spell. She spent two days trying to figure out the problem before just replacing it. The temperature was -40° to -50° during this time. I can’t imagine, but I’m sure I’ll get to experience it at some point. They have a supply of cold weather gear that they have found at the pawn shop. People come up to work on the North Slope and decide not to stay so they sell their lightly used gear rated to -70° and it can be purchased for a tenth of the price of new. I’ll probably get a set at some point if I find the right size and have money at the same time. My biggest problem is finding boots that I can get my oddball left foot into.

Sleeping can be a bit of trouble. I’m using a memory foam mattress and I have discovered that cold makes it as hard as a rock and it steals body heat as it softens. I actually have to sit at the foot of the bed to preheat the mattress a little before I get under the covers. Even the dog has learned that trick. I’m using three blankets and they do a good job if they aren’t stolen by the dog. The single best blanket I bought was the Pendleton design sherpa blanket that Costco sold this year. I bought two of them and I wouldn’t mind picking up another. Just adding one of those blankets to the other two seemed to more than double the heat retained. The night starts out being chilly but I warm up pretty fast.

When I get my cabin built I hope to eliminate many of the problems we have in this RV. We’ll have better insulation. We’ll have a Toyo and a wood stove. I’ll be sleeping in the loft where the heat rises. Chris gets the bedroom downstairs because he likes it cooler. I’m glad for the experience we are gaining this winter, but I really can’t wait for the cabin.

Stay warm.

Alaska, Cold Weather Life, Inspiration, Off-grid living, Stories

Pondering the future.

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The coffee is extra strong this morning. I might have allowed it to burble on the stove a little bit longer than I should have, but it has a nice kick. I’m sitting here, almost ready to head in to work and I’m trying to make plans. I knew that hibernation would wear off eventually.

First off, I want my cabin. I really, really want a proper cabin. It would be so much easier to heat than this RV. We would have more room to work in the kitchen. We could have better spaces to relax or hang out and not be in each other’s way. That has to wait. My loose plan is to wait for March when things melt to get the sawmill working and get the lumber cut so that when the season ends my shuttle job I can put in the time to build.

Then there is the garden. I want a garden. I’m pretty sure I can grow potatoes and cabbage, carrots and beets. I just don’t know how much protection I will need to install so that critters won’t trample or eat my garden. I put a question in to a group about that. We’ll see if I get anything useful.

I still don’t know what I’ll do for work in summer. Or if Chris will work and I can live off of his paycheck for a few months. I haven’t decided if I’ll drive for Basecamp for a second season or not. Some of this resists planning. It’s too far away and has too many variables.

I used to make lists and plans all the time. I find it really helps when your brain is too busy. Having things written down helps me focus. I’ve been getting better at letting go and winging it, but I would like an outline.

I know what I want to do out in the real world. I’m pondering a couple of ideas for content on the blog. I want your feedback.

What do you want to know about life in Alaska? Do you want to know about living off-grid? How do we keep warm? Cost of living? What it’s like driving? Ask me questions!

I have just finished reading through my posts for the last year. More recently I have been telling stories, but last January I posted a series detailing my camping list. I want to revisit that and compare camping to my current lifestyle. That could be an interesting ten articles.

Please, tell me what you think. I love sharing what it’s like up here and I would love to share the adventure with you the way you want to hear about it.

Inspiration, Stories

A new year… now what?

So we hit the end of one calendar and have started on the next. Days and weeks and months flow by and people act as if the numbers make it different from what came before.

Do the numbers make the difference? Do they really?

I would make the argument that numbers are nothing but markers. It doesn’t matter what page you turn to if the book is blank. The numbers just help you label when things happen. We are what will make the changes.

What made 2020 good or bad has nothing to do with the year itself, but how we responded to events. I lost my dad and we couldn’t gather for a funeral. I moved to another state and still don’t have my cabin built. The job I was hired for and quit my stable job to start went away as covid-19 cancelled that entire season. Wildfires threatened my Oregon home and forced my family to evacuate. I had to spend a few nights without heat as the temp dropped as low as -31°. All of these things make it sound like 2020 was a disaster for me, but it wasn’t.

2020 might have been my best year yet. It was the year I took control of my life. I left a job that was destroying me and only my bank account regrets it. I have settled into an area that is beyond beautiful, even with the darkness and extreme conditions. My cabin might not be built, but that means I am living close to my helpers. If anything goes wrong I can call for assistance and they just have to cross the creek. We might have had to get through some harsh times, but on the other side we know that we survived and can do it again. The job I have now is proving to me that I really do like people. My family learned what is really important to them and what can be left behind. My oldest son is learning that he is stronger than he thought and takes great pride in his ability to keep the household functional in Oregon. My middle son is getting a bit bored here, but he knows how to keep our RV comfortable. And even though we miss my dad, we still were able to say goodbye in a memorable way.

So what is this new year going to bring? I don’t know. There will definitely be challenges. I still have a cabin to build. Chris and I both will have to find work again. Hopefully it will lead us closer to the lifestyle we want.

I can’t predict the events to come, but I plan to meet them with the intention of making the best of whatever comes my way. I’ll do my best to be ready for when things are bad. But in every disaster there is room made for growth. Change is inevitable. Adaptation is necessary. Optimism is not a flaw. You get what you look for. If you look for reasons to give up then that’s all you will find. Better to look for the good in life. Look for new opportunities. Look for new people. Make the most of your life no matter what comes your way.

Here’s one good thing we know is coming. My nephew and his wife just announced that the baby they are expecting in a few months will be a girl. Considering that my extended family has had only boys for the last 25 years, that’s pretty exciting. This is going to be a good year.

Alaska, Cold Weather Life, Inspiration, Stories

Photo bomb!

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The light is coming back. The last two days have had spectacular sunrises and sunsets. It stays light a little later than just a week ago and that’s perfect. Then there is the full moon. This morning the moon set as the sun was rising and I couldn’t decide which side of the sky was prettier.

I was running errands this morning, in full professional scavenger hunt mode. My boss sent me a list and I was checking it off. At one point I had to go back to the shop for something and as I pulled in I caught a glimpse of the moon setting huge and beautiful. So I parked the van and walked over to where I had the best angle. I had my phone on camera mode and was zooming in and framing my shot just right when I suddenly realized that there were fuzzy ears in the foreground. I was so focused on the moon that I hadn’t seen the moose.

How’s this for a photo bomber?

The shot I got wasn’t perfect. There was another moose about 20 feet to the right, but I didn’t get them both in a single frame. But I got a story.

How many times does this happen to people? You are so focused on the things in the distance that you forget to see what is close by. All those big things you are heading for are great. Keep aiming high! But don’t forget to look for the little things close by too. Smell the roses. See the moose. Enjoy the moment.

Alaska, Inspiration, Stories

Are you trapped in your comfortable discomfort?

FB memories recently showed me this post from four years ago. It fit in with a conversation I had with a guest. It was a conversation that I found very upsetting. I have been letting the conversation and my reactions simmer in the back of my mind for a couple of days now, trying to make sense of it all.

It takes nearly an hour to bring people up to Basecamp from town. I have kind of a spiel that I’ve put together to tell guests a bit about history, local animals and plants, local economy and jobs, and the way that life can be different up here in interior Alaska. Each trip is different because of what catches the attention of a given guest. This couple focused on the dry cabin aspect and what that entails.

The husband asked about how much land costs and what restrictions there might be. How do you get started, etc. I explained some of my journey and why I left a good paying job that made me miserable, and tried to explain some of the things that have made this possible, especially the mindset. The wife told me how I should have done my job back driving bus and at one point very passionately told me that “not everyone can do what you have done! Some people are trapped!”

Some people are trapped. Trapped by circumstances. Trapped by the fact that they have children that they can’t bring themselves to pull out of a school where they are bullied and abused by the other kids. Because if they aren’t in school how will they be properly socialized? Trapped by income limits. Trapped by dysfunctional relationships? Trapped by their own ideas of how the world works and how you should submit to the system, even though it makes you so miserable you don’t want to drag yourself out of bed to do it another day, but you have to because what about the children?

I get it. As the old FB post above hints at I spent a long time feeling trapped. I had no idea how I could do anything different. I saw only the limitations surrounding me. I could not imagine any other way, but I was desperate for something different. My life at that time was doing its best to destroy me, and for a while it came close.

I looked for inspiration in many places. I listened to podcasts to learn about how to create a farm business, how to manage money and create wealth on a normal income. I heard about possibilities outside of the beaten path from people who had found their own version of success that fed their souls instead of destroying them. I dug in and kept trying to figure out what I really want in life. The post above is an early version. Now I summarize it by saying, “I want to live with the seasons and I want to be able to hibernate.” I’m still working out what that means, but I have a feeling that it will shift through the years as I have new experiences. Right now I just want to make enough money to live on and build my cabin. I have options that I never saw before. Life isn’t perfect, but it’s happier than it was 4 years ago.

To answer the idea that people are trapped, I just want to say this: yes, you are in a cage. It is made of expectations and debt, materialism and keeping up with the Joneses. You have been socialized by school to put up with abusive work environments just so you can have a paycheck to keep it all afloat and not disappoint your family and friends. But it is a flimsy cage. The bars are weak and spaced far apart. You can escape any time you choose. It all starts by deciding you want something better. Then you make a plan. You spend a couple of years dismantling your cage and one day you walk away from it. It only ever existed in your mind anyway.

If you look for reasons to not succeed you will always find them. If you look at people who succeeded despite all the reasons they shouldn’t, you will find them as well. Life is never completely comfortable. So you need to decide what kind of discomfort you can put up with in order to find the life you can be comfortable with.

I chose to leave a reliable $60k/yr income and a four bedroom, really nice home so that I can have the chance to live in an RV in the extreme cold, using an outhouse with no roof. The trade-off is that my soul feels free. I am happier than I have been in years, and I feel better day by day. I have a job I can go to without crying the entire commute.

Am I lucky? Maybe. But only because I found new choices and made myself step out and do something different. It was terrifying to buy the plane ticket to come visit Alaska for the first time. It was terrifying to actually purchase my property up here. It was scary to apply to seasonal jobs that paid half of my income rate at Trimet. But once it all started coming together I felt a peace with everything. Only my bank balance regrets leaving Trimet.

I don’t know if that guest realized that her words were like knives, twisting in some old wounds, but after pondering my reactions I came to two conclusions. One, I’m glad for it. I feel like some old pain has drained from me that wouldn’t have without this interaction. And Two, she wants something better in her life but she feels trapped. I tried to explain to her how I got here. I tried to encourage her to take tiny steps and see outside of whatever barriers she thinks are there. I truly believe that people can do whatever they set their minds to. I hope my words set hope in motion for her. In the meantime I hope that the beauty of this place helps heal the wounds in her soul.

Even at 2:30pm this sunset feeds my soul.

I’m happy here. This is not an easy place to live and I know it isn’t for everyone. My greatest hope is that with this blog telling my story I can inspire other people to find what makes them happy and take the steps to improve their lives. If anything I say or share does that for you then let me know. I want to see more people living well.

Alaska, Cold Weather Life, Inspiration, Off-grid living

Why do hard things?

Could you live here?

You know the memes: a picture of a cabin in the middle of nowhere and the text says, “for a million dollars” or “give up football” or something like that. A lot of people say YES! Others don’t think they can. A few more are emphatically hell NO! Most of them will never try.

I listen to podcasts and recently one covered a guest’s life growing up in North Korea. The host was rightly horrified by the description of the human rights violations and starvation faced by the people, but also by the idea of no running water and the struggle for electricity.

As I drive guests to and from town I talk about local history and the economy and life in the extreme conditions, but what often fascinates them most are stories of my own adventures. I mention how warm it feels at 18° and how strange it was when we got up to 38° for a few hours the other night. Then I casually say it has been as cold as -31° and oh by the way I spent that night without heat. And I wonder… Do they look at me the way that podcast host looked at the woman who grew up in North Korea? Do they pity me for doing this hard, crazy thing? They are all pretty well off to be able to travel and spend the money on the location I work for so maybe the idea of giving up modern comfort and convenience is something they would never consider, let alone do.

Another podcast I listen to uses the term voluntary hardship. It’s a strength training podcast so they literally mean choosing to pick up a heavy thing to gain the ability to bring in the groceries or work in the garden. You choose to do hard things so that everything else is easy by comparison. You gain strength in more than just your body. I haven’t gotten started on the strength training yet (I really need to) but I’ve been applying the concept to other areas in my life, often just as a mindset exercise.

I could have stayed in Oregon. I could have kept that stable job with benefits. I could have stayed in the house with all the modern comforts and conveniences like showers whenever I want. I didn’t have to come to a place where the air hurts my face and I have to go outside in the middle of the night when my bladder wakes me up. I chose this, knowing the shape of the life I was stepping into.

We didn’t have to stay in the RV with no heat on the night it hit -31°. We could have gone across the creek and stayed in the warm cabin. In fact we did that the next night before the Toyo got running in the RV. But staying in the cold proved that we could do it. In our own minds we survived the hard thing and came out the other side a little stronger. Each time something goes wrong we can tackle it with the knowledge that we are strong enough to do what has to be done and when we fix it we gain more confidence in our own ability and experience.

2020 has been hard on everyone. It might be your health or work, finances or need for social connections. There are things to be dealt with to get through this. It cannot stay bad forever. I suggest you embrace the hardship. Tackle it and find a way through that leaves you stronger. Life is there for the living and when you’ve been through a challenge the easy stuff is that much sweeter.

Life without running water, predictable power, and heat is not something that I expect everyone to try. I say it over and over, this really is not for everyone! But that doesn’t mean that only people who deprive themselves can benefit. Everyone can benefit by handling some hardship in their lives. It doesn’t have to break you. Let it make you stronger.

Alaska, Cold Weather Life, Off-grid living

A day in the light.

Before sunrise this morning I drove to work facing the full moon the entire way. This might be my new favorite sight.
10:20am sunrise. A view from my work.
Noon at Basecamp, and the sun hasn’t gotten above the taller trees.
1:35 pm today. The days might be short, but the colors go on for hours.
An afternoon drive. I get to share these views with the guests I drive in the shuttle. They think they are coming here to see the aurora, but that’s just the cherry on top.
1:40pm and sunset colors are already flooding the sky.
3:30pm. The sun is mostly down, but there is still color and light. This is my view of my friend’s cabin across the frozen creek.

Before coming to Fairbanks I knew that daylight would be an issue. At the summer solstice the sun might set for 3 hours, but it doesn’t get dark. In winter it is the opposite issue. Days get shorter and shorter until the sun is only up for 3 hours, but here the darkness is not complete. Sunrise colors start an hour or more before the sun shows up and last longer too. Sunset colors can be in the sky up to 2 hours before the sun goes down and they take time to fade along with the light. On a really good day there is color across the sky and reflected from the snow all day. It is a constantly shifting light show and the sheer beauty makes up for all the challenges that come from living up here.

I drive a shuttle van to bring tourists to and from a destination with an aurora borealis theme. People who wanted to go to Iceland or Norway to see the Northern Lights have had to shift their plans to Alaska. They always ask me about the chances of a good show. I always tell them I can promise nothing on the aurora, but I also always point out the colors in the sky and tell them how much I love watching the shifting of the light. I’ve had more than one person thank me on our trip back into town. I’ve been told that even with a good aurora show overnight they still loved watching the daylight almost as much. When something is in short supply you find a greater appreciation for it.

I hope I never get tired of seeing all of this beauty in my world.

Family, Inspiration, Stories

Thanksgiving

We all know how it started. The legend of the first Thanksgiving is a story about a party to celebrate community and a successful harvest. They feasted in the knowledge that they would have food to last until they could grow more.

We all know what it has become. Thanksgiving is a day off work, a day of cooking and family and maybe football. The entire season has turned into a social media game of talking about what’s good in our lives. Some people dread it because their family is toxic or gone. Some dread the traditional dishes. Some dread the cleanup.

I recently saw a post on social media about how some people can’t bring themselves to play the “gratitude game” because they can’t see anything positive, especially this year. That thought hurts my heart. It’s easy to list things when times are good. It takes a proper mindset to find good things when times are hard. In fact, I would say that hard times are the best times to develop your gratitude muscle. That’s when you need it most.

In early October of 2012 I was struggling with a bit of depression. Times were good. We had a new house and property out in the country the way we had talked about for so long. As much as I loved it, I was struggling with the transition. I had lived in the old house since I was 4 years old. I felt off balance and rootless. So I decided to use my blogger account to write about something good every day from October 1 until Thanksgiving. I wanted to adjust my mindset to see the good instead of focusing on what was different.

Anyone who knows my family knows what happened. On October 9th I was met by a supervisor while I was driving my bus route. Another driver took over my run and the supervisor took me to the hospital where my husband had been admitted following a heart attack. Any hard times I had thought I was struggling with were nothing compared to what was ahead of me when I learned that he wasn’t coming home. We buried him ten days later and I tried to stick with my gratitude activity. I could have been destroyed without it. Even if I didn’t write a post I kept trying to think of something good in my life every day. Just for me.

I still do it to some degree. When we spent the night at -31° I laughed and said it’s part of the adventure. I push myself to accept hard things so I appreciate the easy things. I’m not comfortable with getting too comfortable. I don’t want to complain. I have chosen the path I’m on and one day I might have to throw a party to celebrate the best things in life.

This year my gratitude list starts with my boys. They are the reason I held myself together for the first few years. Then when I realized I wasn’t living a life that I wanted them to copy, they are the reason I started looking for something more worth living. No one should live to work. You should not simply be a slave to the paycheck. Work should enable you to shape your life into something you can enjoy. That’s what I’m trying to build.

These three young men are my greatest pride and inspiration.

My oldest son is in charge of my property back in Oregon. He makes sure that everyone gets their rent in so that the bills get paid. He has my mom and a family friend to help as needed, but he’s doing well.

My youngest son is also back in Oregon. He finally has his driver’s license so he can get to work on his own. I’m so proud to know that he is becoming more independent.

Keeper of the flame? Well, keeper of the generator at least.

Then there is the middle son. His enthusiasm made it possible for me to take the leap in buying property in Alaska. His commitment to follow through made it possible for me to have enough confidence to leave my well-paid (if miserable) job to come up here. Now that we’re up here he is the one who keeps the house running and warm while I earn money to pay for things. He has been looking for work and should hear back from one soon so I’ll have to take on some of the tasks he has left me out of, but I’m okay with that. I have to stand on my own at some point.

Life is good as long as it is lived. Gratitude should always be more to benefit yourself than to impress others. We might not be able to gather together, but if we know that our loved ones are happy and safe that should be enough.

Happy Thanksgiving. I hope you can find some way to improve your life over the next year so that you can have more to be thankful for.

I’ll leave you with a blast from my past. I’m thankful that I don’t always have to be the one doing the cooking.

Turkeys can be fun as well as delicious.