Tag Archives: gratitude

Alaska, Cold Weather Life, Off-grid living

Here’s a few things you’ll never see back in Portland!

This is what I woke up to. I made sure to not crop out the time. Don’t worry. We’re comfortable this time around. Both the Toyo and the propane heater are working to keep the indoor temps cozy. The thermometer in my end of the RV reads 45, but it’s mounted on an exterior wall so that might skew it colder. My blankets are enough to make it comfortable. Clay dog agrees.

This is what I woke up to yesterday morning. I had to sweep it off so I could head in to work. No ice to scrape. Nothing melted because it was -15 when I went to bed and -8 when I woke up. All the snow is dust and blows off easily.

Driving into town I was able to safely cruise at highway speed. Normal, dry pavement speed limit speed is safe in these conditions. It’s almost surprising because at night my headlights reflect off the shiny layer of ice on the road surface, but if you aren’t stupid it isn’t really slick. Don’t let your wheels touch the deeper snow on the shoulder though, it’ll suck you in.

Honestly, the only problem with fresh snow is the visibility. Traffic in the right lane clears it out, but if someone passes on the left it stirs up a cloud that takes a while to settle. That cloud will drift across the median too and you can’t see what other vehicles are doing until it clears.

Traffic delay!

As much as Portland loves their dogs, I doubt this will ever show up in Portland. Actually, I would love to see this. Let me have a team and one of the carts they use for summer training. Let me go flying down the bike path. I wouldn’t need to fear the homeless campers because I’d have 8 dogs with me and all they want is to run. Nah, on the other hand I’d have to watch out for paw injuries from broken glass and needles. No need to put my imaginary dogs through that. Better to stay here where it’s cold enough that running doesn’t make them overheat, and you never have to dig ice splinters out of a paw.

So it is cold and snowy up here. That’s a given. I’m enjoying every bit of it. We’ve had a few rough patches. This morning we’re listening to the generator with suspicion because it doesn’t sound quite right. The backup generator is staged and ready to go if we need to swap it out and let the other one warm up. It’s possible that moisture is in the fuel again which means ice in the carburetor. This is why we have two of them. We have learned a lot in the last few months.

February means we’re in the second half of winter. Things start thawing out in March. We could almost start a countdown. As cold as it is right now I know this winter wasn’t as cold as it could have been and I’m thankful for that. Last year had lows in the -40s to -50s during January. I would hate to have dealt with that in an RV. I’m looking forward to building my cabin so I can have good insulation again.

I hope you are all enjoying the last of winter wherever you are. Go do something fun. Find a reason to appreciate your warm house. Your backyard might not be below zero, but winter weather has a way of making indoors feel extra cozy. Revel in it and recharge to be ready for when the world comes back to life.

Alaska, Cold Weather Life, Inspiration, Stories

Photo bomb!

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The light is coming back. The last two days have had spectacular sunrises and sunsets. It stays light a little later than just a week ago and that’s perfect. Then there is the full moon. This morning the moon set as the sun was rising and I couldn’t decide which side of the sky was prettier.

I was running errands this morning, in full professional scavenger hunt mode. My boss sent me a list and I was checking it off. At one point I had to go back to the shop for something and as I pulled in I caught a glimpse of the moon setting huge and beautiful. So I parked the van and walked over to where I had the best angle. I had my phone on camera mode and was zooming in and framing my shot just right when I suddenly realized that there were fuzzy ears in the foreground. I was so focused on the moon that I hadn’t seen the moose.

How’s this for a photo bomber?

The shot I got wasn’t perfect. There was another moose about 20 feet to the right, but I didn’t get them both in a single frame. But I got a story.

How many times does this happen to people? You are so focused on the things in the distance that you forget to see what is close by. All those big things you are heading for are great. Keep aiming high! But don’t forget to look for the little things close by too. Smell the roses. See the moose. Enjoy the moment.

Alaska, Cold Weather Life, Inspiration, Off-grid living

Why do hard things?

Could you live here?

You know the memes: a picture of a cabin in the middle of nowhere and the text says, “for a million dollars” or “give up football” or something like that. A lot of people say YES! Others don’t think they can. A few more are emphatically hell NO! Most of them will never try.

I listen to podcasts and recently one covered a guest’s life growing up in North Korea. The host was rightly horrified by the description of the human rights violations and starvation faced by the people, but also by the idea of no running water and the struggle for electricity.

As I drive guests to and from town I talk about local history and the economy and life in the extreme conditions, but what often fascinates them most are stories of my own adventures. I mention how warm it feels at 18° and how strange it was when we got up to 38° for a few hours the other night. Then I casually say it has been as cold as -31° and oh by the way I spent that night without heat. And I wonder… Do they look at me the way that podcast host looked at the woman who grew up in North Korea? Do they pity me for doing this hard, crazy thing? They are all pretty well off to be able to travel and spend the money on the location I work for so maybe the idea of giving up modern comfort and convenience is something they would never consider, let alone do.

Another podcast I listen to uses the term voluntary hardship. It’s a strength training podcast so they literally mean choosing to pick up a heavy thing to gain the ability to bring in the groceries or work in the garden. You choose to do hard things so that everything else is easy by comparison. You gain strength in more than just your body. I haven’t gotten started on the strength training yet (I really need to) but I’ve been applying the concept to other areas in my life, often just as a mindset exercise.

I could have stayed in Oregon. I could have kept that stable job with benefits. I could have stayed in the house with all the modern comforts and conveniences like showers whenever I want. I didn’t have to come to a place where the air hurts my face and I have to go outside in the middle of the night when my bladder wakes me up. I chose this, knowing the shape of the life I was stepping into.

We didn’t have to stay in the RV with no heat on the night it hit -31°. We could have gone across the creek and stayed in the warm cabin. In fact we did that the next night before the Toyo got running in the RV. But staying in the cold proved that we could do it. In our own minds we survived the hard thing and came out the other side a little stronger. Each time something goes wrong we can tackle it with the knowledge that we are strong enough to do what has to be done and when we fix it we gain more confidence in our own ability and experience.

2020 has been hard on everyone. It might be your health or work, finances or need for social connections. There are things to be dealt with to get through this. It cannot stay bad forever. I suggest you embrace the hardship. Tackle it and find a way through that leaves you stronger. Life is there for the living and when you’ve been through a challenge the easy stuff is that much sweeter.

Life without running water, predictable power, and heat is not something that I expect everyone to try. I say it over and over, this really is not for everyone! But that doesn’t mean that only people who deprive themselves can benefit. Everyone can benefit by handling some hardship in their lives. It doesn’t have to break you. Let it make you stronger.

Alaska, Cold Weather Life, Off-grid living

A day in the light.

Before sunrise this morning I drove to work facing the full moon the entire way. This might be my new favorite sight.
10:20am sunrise. A view from my work.
Noon at Basecamp, and the sun hasn’t gotten above the taller trees.
1:35 pm today. The days might be short, but the colors go on for hours.
An afternoon drive. I get to share these views with the guests I drive in the shuttle. They think they are coming here to see the aurora, but that’s just the cherry on top.
1:40pm and sunset colors are already flooding the sky.
3:30pm. The sun is mostly down, but there is still color and light. This is my view of my friend’s cabin across the frozen creek.

Before coming to Fairbanks I knew that daylight would be an issue. At the summer solstice the sun might set for 3 hours, but it doesn’t get dark. In winter it is the opposite issue. Days get shorter and shorter until the sun is only up for 3 hours, but here the darkness is not complete. Sunrise colors start an hour or more before the sun shows up and last longer too. Sunset colors can be in the sky up to 2 hours before the sun goes down and they take time to fade along with the light. On a really good day there is color across the sky and reflected from the snow all day. It is a constantly shifting light show and the sheer beauty makes up for all the challenges that come from living up here.

I drive a shuttle van to bring tourists to and from a destination with an aurora borealis theme. People who wanted to go to Iceland or Norway to see the Northern Lights have had to shift their plans to Alaska. They always ask me about the chances of a good show. I always tell them I can promise nothing on the aurora, but I also always point out the colors in the sky and tell them how much I love watching the shifting of the light. I’ve had more than one person thank me on our trip back into town. I’ve been told that even with a good aurora show overnight they still loved watching the daylight almost as much. When something is in short supply you find a greater appreciation for it.

I hope I never get tired of seeing all of this beauty in my world.

Family, Inspiration, Stories

Thanksgiving

We all know how it started. The legend of the first Thanksgiving is a story about a party to celebrate community and a successful harvest. They feasted in the knowledge that they would have food to last until they could grow more.

We all know what it has become. Thanksgiving is a day off work, a day of cooking and family and maybe football. The entire season has turned into a social media game of talking about what’s good in our lives. Some people dread it because their family is toxic or gone. Some dread the traditional dishes. Some dread the cleanup.

I recently saw a post on social media about how some people can’t bring themselves to play the “gratitude game” because they can’t see anything positive, especially this year. That thought hurts my heart. It’s easy to list things when times are good. It takes a proper mindset to find good things when times are hard. In fact, I would say that hard times are the best times to develop your gratitude muscle. That’s when you need it most.

In early October of 2012 I was struggling with a bit of depression. Times were good. We had a new house and property out in the country the way we had talked about for so long. As much as I loved it, I was struggling with the transition. I had lived in the old house since I was 4 years old. I felt off balance and rootless. So I decided to use my blogger account to write about something good every day from October 1 until Thanksgiving. I wanted to adjust my mindset to see the good instead of focusing on what was different.

Anyone who knows my family knows what happened. On October 9th I was met by a supervisor while I was driving my bus route. Another driver took over my run and the supervisor took me to the hospital where my husband had been admitted following a heart attack. Any hard times I had thought I was struggling with were nothing compared to what was ahead of me when I learned that he wasn’t coming home. We buried him ten days later and I tried to stick with my gratitude activity. I could have been destroyed without it. Even if I didn’t write a post I kept trying to think of something good in my life every day. Just for me.

I still do it to some degree. When we spent the night at -31° I laughed and said it’s part of the adventure. I push myself to accept hard things so I appreciate the easy things. I’m not comfortable with getting too comfortable. I don’t want to complain. I have chosen the path I’m on and one day I might have to throw a party to celebrate the best things in life.

This year my gratitude list starts with my boys. They are the reason I held myself together for the first few years. Then when I realized I wasn’t living a life that I wanted them to copy, they are the reason I started looking for something more worth living. No one should live to work. You should not simply be a slave to the paycheck. Work should enable you to shape your life into something you can enjoy. That’s what I’m trying to build.

These three young men are my greatest pride and inspiration.

My oldest son is in charge of my property back in Oregon. He makes sure that everyone gets their rent in so that the bills get paid. He has my mom and a family friend to help as needed, but he’s doing well.

My youngest son is also back in Oregon. He finally has his driver’s license so he can get to work on his own. I’m so proud to know that he is becoming more independent.

Keeper of the flame? Well, keeper of the generator at least.

Then there is the middle son. His enthusiasm made it possible for me to take the leap in buying property in Alaska. His commitment to follow through made it possible for me to have enough confidence to leave my well-paid (if miserable) job to come up here. Now that we’re up here he is the one who keeps the house running and warm while I earn money to pay for things. He has been looking for work and should hear back from one soon so I’ll have to take on some of the tasks he has left me out of, but I’m okay with that. I have to stand on my own at some point.

Life is good as long as it is lived. Gratitude should always be more to benefit yourself than to impress others. We might not be able to gather together, but if we know that our loved ones are happy and safe that should be enough.

Happy Thanksgiving. I hope you can find some way to improve your life over the next year so that you can have more to be thankful for.

I’ll leave you with a blast from my past. I’m thankful that I don’t always have to be the one doing the cooking.

Turkeys can be fun as well as delicious.