Category Archives: Family

Family, Inspiration, Stories

Thanksgiving

We all know how it started. The legend of the first Thanksgiving is a story about a party to celebrate community and a successful harvest. They feasted in the knowledge that they would have food to last until they could grow more.

We all know what it has become. Thanksgiving is a day off work, a day of cooking and family and maybe football. The entire season has turned into a social media game of talking about what’s good in our lives. Some people dread it because their family is toxic or gone. Some dread the traditional dishes. Some dread the cleanup.

I recently saw a post on social media about how some people can’t bring themselves to play the “gratitude game” because they can’t see anything positive, especially this year. That thought hurts my heart. It’s easy to list things when times are good. It takes a proper mindset to find good things when times are hard. In fact, I would say that hard times are the best times to develop your gratitude muscle. That’s when you need it most.

In early October of 2012 I was struggling with a bit of depression. Times were good. We had a new house and property out in the country the way we had talked about for so long. As much as I loved it, I was struggling with the transition. I had lived in the old house since I was 4 years old. I felt off balance and rootless. So I decided to use my blogger account to write about something good every day from October 1 until Thanksgiving. I wanted to adjust my mindset to see the good instead of focusing on what was different.

Anyone who knows my family knows what happened. On October 9th I was met by a supervisor while I was driving my bus route. Another driver took over my run and the supervisor took me to the hospital where my husband had been admitted following a heart attack. Any hard times I had thought I was struggling with were nothing compared to what was ahead of me when I learned that he wasn’t coming home. We buried him ten days later and I tried to stick with my gratitude activity. I could have been destroyed without it. Even if I didn’t write a post I kept trying to think of something good in my life every day. Just for me.

I still do it to some degree. When we spent the night at -31° I laughed and said it’s part of the adventure. I push myself to accept hard things so I appreciate the easy things. I’m not comfortable with getting too comfortable. I don’t want to complain. I have chosen the path I’m on and one day I might have to throw a party to celebrate the best things in life.

This year my gratitude list starts with my boys. They are the reason I held myself together for the first few years. Then when I realized I wasn’t living a life that I wanted them to copy, they are the reason I started looking for something more worth living. No one should live to work. You should not simply be a slave to the paycheck. Work should enable you to shape your life into something you can enjoy. That’s what I’m trying to build.

These three young men are my greatest pride and inspiration.

My oldest son is in charge of my property back in Oregon. He makes sure that everyone gets their rent in so that the bills get paid. He has my mom and a family friend to help as needed, but he’s doing well.

My youngest son is also back in Oregon. He finally has his driver’s license so he can get to work on his own. I’m so proud to know that he is becoming more independent.

Keeper of the flame? Well, keeper of the generator at least.

Then there is the middle son. His enthusiasm made it possible for me to take the leap in buying property in Alaska. His commitment to follow through made it possible for me to have enough confidence to leave my well-paid (if miserable) job to come up here. Now that we’re up here he is the one who keeps the house running and warm while I earn money to pay for things. He has been looking for work and should hear back from one soon so I’ll have to take on some of the tasks he has left me out of, but I’m okay with that. I have to stand on my own at some point.

Life is good as long as it is lived. Gratitude should always be more to benefit yourself than to impress others. We might not be able to gather together, but if we know that our loved ones are happy and safe that should be enough.

Happy Thanksgiving. I hope you can find some way to improve your life over the next year so that you can have more to be thankful for.

I’ll leave you with a blast from my past. I’m thankful that I don’t always have to be the one doing the cooking.

Turkeys can be fun as well as delicious.
Family

Life, death, and landscaping.

It’s been a while. A lot has happened and not much of it has gone according to plan. To tell the story properly I’ll have to rewind to the end of February.

February 10th I had gallbladder surgery. What a pain! But it was worth it. I took about two weeks off work to recover. I didn’t want to go back, but money is necessary to life and we get it by selling our time and energy. But while I was off I spent time on the job sites. And I found something that I felt would work. I applied, interviewed, and accepted a job as a tour bus driver in Hoonah, Alaska. You know, for the cruise ship passengers. I’m sure you can already see where this is going.

I went back to work on March 3. It was the first day of my spring sign up that I would work less than a month of. My new job would start April 6 and I planned to make Mar 27 my last day at Trimet. Except my plans didn’t work that way. I got a call from my mom on the 6th. She was sick and in pain and couldn’t figure out how to get to the doctor. Eventually she called for the medics who took her to the emergency room where she was treated for weeping edema and cellulitis. They missed the development of some ugly ulcers on her heels, although that may have come later. I had a quick conversation with various family and we decided that they could no longer be on their own, 2 1/2 hours away from the rest of us. I sent my son and a close family friend to pack their bags and bring them to my house where we could make sure they got the care they needed.

They arrived at my house Mar 7 when I was on my way to work. I spent the day being reminded by passengers just why I needed to leave Trimet. Yes, I know it’s about mindset, but I didn’t have it anymore and I wanted to walk away in the first round trip. I made it through all three.

Sunday we had a family meeting to discuss plans and needs. Sunday night my dad’s blood sugar crashed down to 30. We had to call the paramedics who gave him a glucose IV and got him stable. We made a plan to make sure we could keep on top of his sugars and meals and everyone in the house got on board.

Monday I spent 4 hours on the phone with a customer service representative from their insurance company, looking for a doctor’s office down here that would take new patients so we could keep up with their health needs. Apparently records Providence sends them aren’t maintained very well because there were doctors on their list that when she called the office they were like who? Nobody by that name had been there in years. While I was sitting on hold my dad was napping on the couch. At some point I realized that something didn’t look right and my insurance rep had to transfer me to 911. He didn’t wake up from his nap.

Grandpa and my boys in about 2002.

James Terry died on March 9, 2020. He was 77 years old. He left behind his wife of 50 years, three children, four grandsons, and a lot of memories. Also a lot of stuff. I haven’t written a proper obituary yet. We haven’t had a proper memorial service either because everything is shut down due to the virus pandemic. We have been making weekly trips up to their house to get what my mom needs, any family paperwork and photos, and any items of value that can be sold to give my mom a bit more funds. We could stay there for a month and still not be done. The key gets turned over on Friday regardless. I haven’t been back to work since all this started.

I used funeral leave. Then I took 2 weeks family leave to take care of my mom. I decided I would stick to my plan of March 27 being my last day. My tour bus job is still on hold until probably mid June. I have savings for this reason. I’m feeling the lack of income but there’s no panic. I am thinking out a plan for what I can achieve at home with no money. So far it’s landscaping.

My firepit, now without waist high grass! Can I add some concrete?

I mowed the lawn. I’ve scuffle hoed the beds where I can. I’ve worked out a deal with the string trimmer where it doesn’t make me rewind it more than 3 times per tank of gas and I don’t burn it. I’ve trimmed grass in places we thought we might never see again. I’ve started seeds. We might have flowers this year! I miss gardening and flowers.

So my life hasn’t been all about doctors appointments and sorting through a hoarders paradise. I’ve been productive in other ways and I have the body aches to prove it. I could really use a massage right now. Too bad this virus shut it all down.

Family, Picks, Reading, Stories

I’ts been a weekend…the week will be even more fun…maybe

Saturday I made it to work and survived. That was enough. Sunday I slept late and dragged myself through the necessary actions. It was enough. I’m sure we all have times like this. I’m a little disappointed that I broke my streak, but I’m not going to get all angsty over it. It just points out that I need to work out a plan to be able to have days like that and still do the big things that I want to make happen.

Yesterday wasn’t a total loss. I did spend a couple of hours hanging out with my oldest son. We talked about plans, accomplishments, and books. He’s been bitten by the Audible bug. Now we get to discuss books that we’ve both “read” and tell each other which others need to go on our respective lists. We both have been listening our way through a lot of books by Larry Correia. I let him know that Son of the Black Sword had a second book. House of Assassins was pretty good, but the story still has a long way to go before it’s done. He is working his way through the Otherland series by Tad Williams. I read the first one when he was a baby and handed him the dead tree version when he was a HS freshman. Now that he’s got his own VR setup he has a whole new perspective on the storyline. He says he wants to shout it from the rooftops how awesome the story is and that I need to start it so we can discuss. I told him to read the Troy Rising trilogy by John Ringo and Thinking in Pictures by Temple Grandin. Ringo isn’t for everyone, but I know that he will enjoy the worldbuilding in the trilogy. And I’m sure this won’t be the last time we cause each other’s wish list to grow.

Is it a failure when your crumble crust sinks below the filling? I think not, because one of the pies evaporated before it was fully cooled.

I also made multi-berry pie so that there would be more room in the freezer. Have you ever done that? I found five different bags of assorted berries and threw them into a pot to make pie filling. It was delicious on waffles for breakfast and in a crust for an after-dinner treat. I should do this a couple more times. I’m sure there are peaches that need to be used as well.

It looked like a good start…Cheese, pepper, mushrooms, spinach, and egg.

Then there were the egg bites. Costco has them for half the price of the coffee shop that shall not be named. But I want to make my own flavor for even less. I’m sure I could make two dozen for less than $10. I just have to work out a few bugs. Oven baking is not going to work. Neither is Feta cheese, no matter how much I like the flavor. I need to work on how they are going to release from the pan, too. Maybe I need a sous vide unit…I know there’s at least one person in the house that wouldn’t complain. I just want something I can take to work for lunch that is low carb, high protein, and not boring. Boiled eggs don’t always agree with me and being a lifelong vegetarian means that I have fewer options for protein, especially if I’m trying to reduce the soy and highly processed stuff. Why does good eating have to be so hard?

They looked amazing in the pan, all puffed up and fragrant. Then I tried to remove them from the pans. Hmmmm, not so great. Needs work. These will be gone soon enough so I can try again. Half were eaten overnight.

This week could be interesting in the way of the proverbial curse, so I’m not sure how things will go on the blog. The weather men are threatening us with the white slippery junk. Laugh if you must, but snow in Portland Oregon is a special kind of evil. Currently it is 37F and lightly raining. If the temperature drops tomorrow the way they say it will all of that rain will become a sheet of ice that snow can fall on top of. I have to drive in that stuff. I get paid for about 8 hours of that, but my normal hour-long commute includes some steep hills through higher elevations. I can feel my blood pressure creeping up at the thought of it. I’ll leave plenty of extra time to get to work and have a well stocked go-bag in case I get stuck, but that doesn’t mean I have to like it. The city and Multnomah County in general seem pretty clueless about road maintenance in a snow event. The one thing they know how to do is put down the deicer, but with all the rain we’ve been getting in the past week it would all be washed off the streets. My greatest hope is that it will fizzle. That the temps never get below 35F and it all just stays rain. I’d be happy with that.

Tomorrow I will work on the next category of the Camping List. If I remember correctly it will be clothing. You only need a single small bag, really. You don’t have to be like my friend who showed up for an overnight campout with three suitcases…one for her hair and makeup, one for her clothes, and one just for her shoes… She still gets flustered when we tease her about the current bush for her curling iron.

Family, Farm Stories, Stories

Why Caosville?

I love puns. We used to play with words in the most horrible ways when I was a kid. The worst we came up with was “possumbly.”… One day someone said, “Oh, no there’s a dead possum in the road. Do you think maybe he came from the swamp?” I replied, “Possumbly.” Everyone died laughing. Funny thing, though. Nobody seems to appreciate my puns as much now. We lost something growing up.

Anyway, I married into the name Cao. The proper Spanish pronunciation is “cow” but my kids prefer “K.O.” I can’t imagine why… Now if you have a family named Smith you would refer to them as the Smiths. The English convention is to add an ‘s’ to make it a plural. So with Cao we become the Caos. In Spanish that means exactly what it looks like: chaos. It fits. My husband had ADD in the best of ways and our boys continue the tradition. When they were little I kept threatening to rent them out as demolition experts.

Now it isn’t so bad, but life is chaotic. I try to keep a handle on it but things keep slipping through the cracks. The poultry refuses to be contained, the fridge is a constant terrifying science project, and the blackberry vines laugh at the goats, who can’t get out of their pasture, but escape any other enclosure I try to put them in so that they have a chance at consuming the brambles. Before we moved here I knew that I would call this place Caosville because it fit in every way. And I like it that way.