Even though I am a professional driver, I always had one thing that I avoided like the plague. I hate backing trailers! I can back Blue into any place I need my truck to be. I even confidently maneuvered 40 ft transit busses when and wherever needed. I would refuse to take the utility trailer to the dump by myself because I would have to back it in and embarrass myself. I had fully convinced myself that I couldn’t do it.

That ends here and now!

Since last week I have been hauling gravel for work. They need several hundred yards of gravel to top the driveway and paths and to set up a new septic system. So they gave me a work truck and a dump trailer and told me to see how many trips I can make every day. The gravel pit is open from 7 to 5 and is 40 minutes away. So far 6 trips is as good as I can do. Several hundred yards…4.5 yards at a time. And every load requires me to back up a trailer.

Yesterday I dropped multiple loads in front of the lodge. They are all lined up next to each other nicely. Just seeing that and thinking “I did that!” makes me happy.

Then today I was told to switch product to prepare a septic system. They need 90 yards here by Friday to keep the project from being delayed. It’s a good thing they have a second driver running gravel too! We might just manage it. The challenge is to get backed in down a winding driveway without hitting anything, then down a ramp built to allow us to drop the load in the hole. But of course it was raining and the ground is soft under the rock. The truck need to be helped out each time.

This time last year I could not have done this work. I would not have been confident enough. I would have found a way to get out of it, or if I tried it I would have had a nervous breakdown and fallen apart. Not this year. This year I am ready to tackle some of the hard things and succeed. Watch out for next year! Maybe I’ll quit making excuses to avoid upgrading to the Class A CDL.

It’s easy to find reasons to avoid things that are hard. But in avoiding those things you miss out on that feeling of triumph when you succeed. Go for the hard things. Don’t listen to the voice in the back of your head that says you can’t. Don’t hold yourself back. Keep growing. Be the windshield. Squash the bugs.

Just don’t expect to hear that I’m turning into an ice road trucker any time soon. My confidence has yet to exceed my skill.